The chronicles of Rhino and Pig...

jus for da baby alien

2005-01-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

HELLO everybody todays entry will be specially dedicated to my baby alien.. since i have ben writing always abt my baby pig tis time i should show my dearest alien how much i love her.... to da alien:: though i may appear so totally obsessed with da pig which is true ha ha but u have always been my special baby MUACKS hahah. me and da pig are always making the alien feel left out hahah but kidding only lah we jus love to see tat pathetic look on your face bleh!!! the alien os always my lovable alien... let me recall i have known the alien for very long and our relationship ( eehhh sound soo bgr) has taken its up and downs.. i same class as her sonce sec 1

sec1 : ok ok only lah the alien was always running abt and being enthu and i thought tat she was a bit of an action bedah!!1 never tok to me prop at times

sec2: relationship became much better but i canot remember it was wif joanna and her then she stray away. then got some clash between lynetter rach me alien joanna sound soo childish now but cannot remember wat lah

sec3: alien came back on track wif me joanna for a while but we met our dearest bbay claire and things wen a bit hay wire wif joanna so now it was the trio ME ALIEN AND CLAIRE

sec4 : though o levels it was the best times we spent together in css... til now

jc ( first 3 mnths): me da alien tog claire seperated such an extra shit. though i jus had a small bbay fight wif da alien which was so super childish it made the freindship better cause i jus realise i cant live without the alien in my life... soo empty ( i lied to claire tat i did not miss da alien ha ha ha)

ok so tis dedication is to my one and only alien baby the best bud one will ever get in ones life my dearest NUR FADHILA BTE WAHID (long time since i type your name) thank u alien for everything and i TEARED ( hahhaa i soo did not)

PS: dear baby claire dun get jealous cause alien can make love better than u .. hhha no lah we 3 are the best... charlies angels also cannot win us. though i am like the most chio sorry ppl tats the way things have to be bleh!

my baby rhino

2005-01-12T21:36:00.000+08:00

Words can't express how much i love the rhino and how thankful i am to god to have her as a friend. She's really been there with me through all my ups and downs and stuck by me through thick and thin. Ah, i love u rhino! (:

for all my babies (:

2005-01-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

That's What Friends Are For
Dionne Warwick

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today and then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Ohh That's what friends are for

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me oh for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and for bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

for my baby

2005-01-09T13:17:00.000+08:00

hahah i cant believe it my baby misses me soo much... only 2 days and she gave me a post card telling me how much she misses me bleh bleh and stuff... u see only wen u are not in contact wif da rhino do u really knoe how much u miss da rhino... now u knoe how great i am and u should treasure me hhahah ok lah enough of praising myself...i must say tat i miss my baby a lot too.. its diff without her though camp at jj would be million times better if only my baby was wif me. i hope tat we can follow our pact (though it depends on our results).. arghhh met my baby at wcp yesterday and we toked abt orientation and stuff.. ok i heard her story abt erm.... and it was soo bloody funny wish i had seen it man. and me claire baby is like so depressed and sad casue she feels she got no where to go and she tinks she will not get 14 points... though i feel none of tis will happen.. i tell her soo many times also she dun wan to listen ah yooo.. ok ok lah i pray for u and da alien everyday tat u will get wat u wan..ok happy?? confirm get one casue wen u pray for yourself its kinda selfish but wen u pray for others confirm come true casue there is nothin gfor u in it. its for the goodwill of others.. so iam sure u and da alien willl get what u all wan... hey hey ok then i still haven tok to the alien he he claire said it was childish thought i tink so toooo.. hhaha ok lah iwill tok wen the right time starts. or maybe the alien should tok first casue she was soo super enthu on stage running abt like some baby

JJ Spirit

2005-01-09T13:05:00.000+08:00

Hey ya ppl.... I've got the jj spirit.... yesh team jj.. though claire baby keeps saying its propaganda ITS NOT... the camp was like super duper duper good seriously. Mass dance was super exciting as we learnt 6 songs.. though i was being flunged around by one of my dance partners david who was acting all sooo pro.. damn scary eh i keep stepping on his fet he bumping oto me pai seh sial. but dancing wif tis one other nameless guy one of the days was da worst cause he had bloody sweaty hands and practically not moving and not enthu. world war 3 was the ultimate coolest games casue my OG was like winning all da games except fot the waterbomb captains ball and some lame find the teachers pic game.. yeah... shoa lin soccer was da best as we kicked the butts of the super action be deh group.. score 2 to 1. both goals scored by our one and only ZAI. made good friends with claires buddy steffi and her friend maybel then the rest ok ok soo soo ah. there is a retard river valley guy who is like sooo bloody funny he entertains all of us man. suddenly the OG group soo enthu we all going out to get for our og leader niran a birthday gift.... ok there was this one incident which i dun tink i should say wait pai seh my group memeber ROBERT. if u wanna knoe come ask me i was da only gal who saw it.. clue: i saw smth i should not see arghhhh grossss but funny sial. this was wat bonded us i call it the underwear incident. kkkk then PLUS ULTRA....bye guys

boo hoo hoo

2005-01-05T14:39:00.000+08:00

i miss u guys so so much ): can't wait for 2 mths to fly by then we'll all be together again :/

o3o1o5

2004-12-31T23:20:00.002+08:00

School starts tml! Just wanted to drop by to say rock on! :D

o3o1o5

2004-12-31T23:20:00.001+08:00

School starts tml! Just wanted to say rock on! :D

2005

2004-12-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

Ooh! Just 42 more minutes and we can all embrace 2005! just sad that shitty channel 5 is not showing the nation's countdown. hurmph! so i can't even countdown in the comfort of my own home. *pouts* Anyway, keep praying for the pple affected by the tsunamis, pray hard! Shall list down my new year resolutions which i aim to achieve. :)

My New Year Resolutions:

1. I will not bitch ( i say this every yr. hahas :) )
2. I will be a hardworking studious nerdy good girl
3. I will maintain a long distance relationship with baby rhino
4. I will not two-time her with alien anymore! (hah! take tt alien!)
5. I will listen to my parents ( if they start listening to me first! hah! )
6. I will go to school on time!
7. I will be sweet innocent and demure ( altho' i already am )
8. I will learn to prioritise ( whatever tt means.. )
9. I will not tell lies ( sobs. this will b difficult. let me tell my last lie of the year. Ashrithaa rajah is pretty. )
10. I will be more perfect than i already am! haha :)

Screwed up day...

2004-12-28T11:08:00.000+08:00

27th Dec 2004. a day i will never forget in my entire life... seriously i always never believed in compositons entitlied "a day wen everything goes wrong". at least not until now and after i read the aliens blog about her crappy day. though alien got physically hurt and me emotionally bruised.( pai seh to the max.....) i tink i knoe the reason to my bad day. its CLAIRE CHAN!! all her fault, her sway look must be the most important reason (png png ask us to lay out our reasons in level of importance) and other factors also ah...ermm my stupidity( ok i was stupid for the first time in my life so??? give me a break for always being smart) haha pui. ok so first bad incident.

WRONG TRAIN.
i had to go outram mrt station and took the midle plateform towards woodlands. the worst thing is i could have taken the same train as claire for she was going sity hall. DAMN i miss precious times with my baby! i love u baby muacks.( okk control stop digressing) soo i wen all the way to kranji mrt station before i realise i wan on the wrong train( was thinking about my sha ruk khans saftey in india. boy he is safe and sound. thank god but his wife should have ermmmm.. then i can have him)

RATED A
ok so standing on the train appraoching kranji, i was holding on to a plastic bag which had my christmas gift from claire a cute black g string or thong with the words I LOVE X MAS printed on it. and a sweet postcard frm my baby. i did not realise tat the contains slip out of the bag as i was so SIANISH(if there is such a word) about the wrong train thingy. so i happen to turn around and a ah pek was pointing towards my thongs... i was like WHERE WHERE??? then i saw them! arrrr the thong and the post card facing me... CAUSE OF THE BLOODY ah pek u pointed at the contents everyone around followed his direction to see my stufF. ( WAT K PO PPL)oh god i faster grabbe dthe stuff and dumped it into the bag and refused to look at anyone. but then i must thank th ah pek for if not for himi would have lost my precious gifts. ( oh yah btw i tried the thongs the front fits perfectly the back a bit uncomfy the line keep entering my ars hole or ars LINE i mean. but looks soo hot on me! thanks baby next we have sex i will put in on!

CHINA WOMEN
at outram i was walking and this china woman jus handed me some flyer and keep telling me smth like " girl u can go collect free sample bleh bleh" she was pointing toward some warehouse sale. i totally ignored it took the flyer and a few metres away crushed and threw it in the bin. wah the woman came running from behind and screamed
in the worsh china accent " OIE THIS WAN NOT PAPER LEH THIS VOUCHER CAN GET FREE SAMPLE U DUN WAN U SAY NEXT TIME OH GIRL U DUN THROW THROW AWAY AHYOOOOO" all the yellowness in har face rushed up her cheeks boy she was angry.. i totally tries to act cool by ignoring her and giving the wat the damn look but everyone was staring at me. AGAIN. arghhh i had enough man i jus walked away. go to hell with she and her voucher crap. i refuse to but china products bitch...
PS: sorry to manjans but this tis not directed to all jus tat china bitch. opss sorry na bing baby.

boxing day

2004-12-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

Today is one of the most freaking unhappening days of my entire life. Time was spent doing nothing. Zero, nada, zilch. Absolutely nothing at all. What a totally boring boring day. Need i emphasize on the fact that it is a boring day? Since i'm absolutely bored now, i shall just compose a fiction story, of how i wish my life could be, so i can escape from the shithole of a life i lead now.

The day begins with me slowly opening my big blue eyes (yeah, i ilove coloured pupils.). I don't get to see the crack of daylight, because it's a horrible way to wake up. I mean, look at how all movies begin with someone awaking with a ray of sunlight beaming through a slit in the curtain, before stretching her arms and awakening to mark the start of a perfect day? Sounds wonderful huh? But we all know how terrible it is to awake with the sun shining through your eyes, thus, i skip the sun part. However, waking up for me is still complete with me stretching comfortably in my waterbed, before sticking my head in my soft pillow for a lil' longer until i'm absolutely sure i'm prepared to wake up.

After that, i slip into my fuzzy wuzzy cute little bedroom slippers before changing out of my silk satin guess pyjamas. I look to my right, only to see breakfast on the table. Ooh, yum yum. Absolutely fantabulous, breakfast looks and tastes exactly ilke hotcakes from mac's, complete with ice milo and all. I dig in before making my way to the elevator outside my room ( yes, my house is freaking big tt i need an elevator to get around, jealous? ). Ok, so i use my dainty perfect manicured finger to press the ground floor. Upon reaching, my butler (which resembles brad pitt), kisses me on the hand before escorting me out of the front door.

Ooh, what a sight upon opening the door. A vast green grassland stretches out to the horizons. I see my flashy red sportscar waiting for me. Further down the field, i see my pets ( golden retrievers, west highland terriers, yorkshiere and silky terries, and other cute species of the dog family) humping (haha! jk) i meant, playing around. Smiling to myself, i push my long blonde curls to the back of my ear before putting on my oakley sunglasses and jumping into the driver's seat of my car. Va va voom! Where do i head too now? First stop. Josh hartnett's house. Ooh! He hops into my car looking ever so gorgeous with his cute puppy dog face before giving me a good morning kiss. Haha, i'm awake already! :) We then drive to the airport where my private jet ( it has claire rocks imprinted on it in hot pink) is waiting for me.

Hoorays, so the pilot welcomes us on board with open arms. Oh yes, did i mention that the resemblance between the pilot and takeshi kaneshiro is uncanny. Oh, so the first destination of the day is New Zealand. So both me and josh hartnett hold hands and do the bungee jump together. That's where i leave him as he has to stay at new zealand to film his next movie. We then proceed to the nz airport where i pick up clay aiken and both of us do recordings for duets on his next cd. After that, i'm shipped to milan where i go shopping to replenish my designer clothing. I spend almost half of the day shopping for useless but expensive stuff. I then fly over to france to meet up with oliver james ( the cutie in what a girl wants) where we enjoy a romantic candlelight dinner with the scenic of the statue of liberty ( is tt even found in france? heck! ) overlooking us as we delight in escargots ( posh sounding for disgusting snails huh? haha).

So after that, i meet many hunks in the ritz carlton in paris and we have a mass orgy. LOL! after tt, i return to my private jet where i shag takeshi before heading home for a beauty sleep to prepare myself for the next day, which schedule is about the same as today. Ooohh weee..and so i slip into slumber.

Perfect sounding huh? What a life. Too bad i ain't a rich and slutty socialite like paris hilton to enjoy such stuff with her ugly chihwahwa. What gives? Shouldn't complain too much about life here. At least we survived the earthquake. Hooray. :) Enjoy life peeps!

x`mas eve

2004-12-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

Hohoho! Merry freaking christmas! Put on that red dangling hat on your head and that cute little santarina outfits for the girls, and for the guys, just come naked ( only if u have a hot bod of cos! ), and let's boogie! :) It's finally 25th of dec again! *elated* *jumps around room madly* Fine fine, i ought to keep my emotions and hormones in check man. Tsk tsk, i'm just oh so super duper happy! Don't know why, but christmas gets me on a high. Yippies! It's my ultimate favourite season! Maybe it's cos i love the excitement and anticipation of opening presents ( minus the crappy ones) and buying presents ( not counting the part where i have to part with my money). Oh yes! How could i forget? The food! Oh god, i'm drooling already. Christmas ain't complete without the fantabulous food and of cos not forgetting the love, warmth, fun and joy! :)

Oh! Not forgetting that i mentioned this entry would be dedicated to astroboy aka tan xiuli. But since i'll be still seeing her face ( ewww! haha, jk ;p) for the next 3 months, i guess i'll just update on how i spent an unforgettable x mas eve with her today. Yay, tune in to a new episode of astroboy and me. Well, this is what happened. We met, and there she was, all short and cute with the little green underwear and then up up and away, we were off. Where to? Astroland of cos. So cool! i met up with the rest of the astros, complete with green underwear and all. Teehee, took a liking to one though, cos of the hot bod. Tsk tsk, pity i have to return to earth. Sigh. All these fun is temporal, including the great sex in alien's spaceship.

Now for what we REALLY did. Truth is, we watched kungfu hustle tog with the alien. Freaking hilarious i tell u. Couldn't stop laughing. *salutes to stephen chow. He is one hell of a talent man. Go watch if you haven't already! Get your lazy butt out of the house and rush down to the nearest theatre ( minus empress of cos! ) and grab tix for the next show. Howdy ho! Bet u can't control ur laughter and probably end up laughing your ass, maybe even ur ovaries and balls off. Haha, man i am so crude, but it's xmas! and i'm jolly well being myself. :)

After that, me and xiuli walked, walked and walked. Ok, no exaggeration over here, but we really did just that. This is seriously one of the most memorable x mas eves for me. Despite her protests, i managed to get xiuli to buy a reindeer hairband with me! hoho! Yeah, and guess what? We walked all the way, did i mention all the way?, from orchard ALL THEY WAY to harboufront (cool huh?), with the hairband on our head 3/4 of the time. Haha, received stares but hell yeah, it was worth it. So freakin' cute! :)

So now, my soles hurt and i'm shagged. Time to shag santa now! He's waiting for me. Kisses to all of u out there and have a merry merry xmas! :)

Zoink

2004-12-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

Good morning everybody! Time check now is 1:54 am and so i sit right in front of the comp, blogging away, risking my eyes to radiation and giving my utmost concentration to writing as i love the alien oh so much, that this entry has to be perfect! Yes! Absolutely perfect, for my one and only lover. Ok, i lied. Bite me! haha, truth is, it's friggin' late and most people on earth ( ok, only those i know) are asleep (hello? isn't the night still young? i admit i only hang out with the boring species) are making their way around dreamland. Thus, the only reason why i'm still awake with my eyes and fingers glued to every part of the comp ( my eyes survey the monitor and my fingers carress the keyboard. haha, sounds like cybersex huh? ;p ) is because i have a ear infection! Argh, it hurts terribly and it's swollen. Ouch. Regret the piercings now. Ok, so it's payback time. My ears resent me for mutilating them with holes and thus they decide not to let me slip into slumber. Well then, what horrible ears i have, *plots to subject them to more torture with even more piercings. *smirks*

Oops, just realised how much i've digressed. Oh yes, back to the alien. My beloved, how i love you so. Mushy? i think not. I know secrets about the alien no one else ( maybe except the rhino) knows about. Tsk tsk. I shall not divulge them though, being the loyal friend i am, unless of course, someone starts bidding. Hehe. So anyway, me and the alien, we just love each other to bits. Most of the time of cos. Other times, we just don't seem to see eye to eye ( how can we? hello? she has more than 2 eyes? ) and eventually end up fighting with me cowering behind tata who never fails to save me ( minus the times she swapped sides and attacked me). Other than that, yeah, alien has always been on the losing end. That's the sad thing about being E.T. u know, hasn't mars attack or watsoever taught you anything? THE HUMANS ALWAYS WIN.

So the alien and me love to make out, why not? after all, with her, sex is always a crime. Threesomes cos she has both a dick and a vagina. Though she recently castrated herself, i still sense the testoterones within her raging and isn't it cool to have sex with an alien? i mean, how many people can actually say that they made out with space life? I can. *beams* *smirks* All right, don't get jealous already. Only the priviledged few get to enjoy such stuff. Because she gives me better sex than tata, i forgive her for the times ( infinite) she betrayed us for her faris baby. Or maybe it's just my forgiving saintly ( no pun intended! :) ) nature.

Ok, so now the alien's going to jjc. Yes, both her and tata. I'm the outcast, thrown away and forgotten. Only just now they were already planning to dispose of me. Boo hoo hoo. i teared HAHA! take that alien! lol. Still, i'll continue being the nice friend that i am and keep a watch on her faris baby. Ok then, think this entry is way too long, too long for the alien. Limited memory space. Needs more programming.

Shall stop blogging now. Muackers alien! :)

My Turn

2004-12-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

Boo hoo hoo. It's my turn now to get all sentimental and teary. *claire wipes off a tear which rolls down her cheek. *blows nose in tissue* See, that's how sad i am. Haven't been blogging for quite a while since i have been labelled as boring, and besides, i've decided to heed the rhino's advice. That is, don't blog if u have nothing to write. Haha. Yeah. Lazy to update what happened the past few days, so this entry will be totally dedicated to my lovers and mates, for all the times we've been through. Note: not for the frail hearted, get tissue ready for i'll be super emotional. *immediately picks up the box of tissue paper beside me and places it right in front*.

Let's start with my beloved baby, ashrithaa rajah.

Kind of regret only getting to know her in sec 3, cos it's a good two years of fun and havoc wasted. Well, better than nothing i suppose. Anyway, after i met her, everything in my life took a turn, including my results which started going downhill. Well, enough of sad stuff. Let me try to think of something good that actually came out of our friendship. *thinks* *still thinking* Erm... did i mention that i was thinking? *awkward silence* *and the silence continues* While i continue to think of the good stuff, let me start with how we actually bonded together. Thank you american idol! that's how me and rhino became close friends. She supported ruben studdard and i supported ( i still support! ) clay aiken u make my heart achin'. Oh yah, enough of digressing, as i was saying, the spaghetti and the meatball. Because of these two dishes, me and rhino became very very good friends. And then came all the phone calls, outings, and sex ( did i mention that ashrithaa does lousy sex? ). Ok, and then we got married. Haha, just kidding. So then, the years passed, the grades continued slipping and now here we are, moving on with our lives and going to different jcs. Hard to actually believe i'm gonna start a new year without the irritating asshole in my life anymore. It's hard to think too deep into it, if not i'll just be like crybaby beverly and alien, and can't control my tears. I know it'll be a matter of time before we start to drift apart, but still, i'll try my utmost best to keep this marriage, oops, i mean friendship, going strong! As long as we're still alive and rolling in the mud i assure u'll still get great sex from me! :) *muackers

Ok, too lazy to write anymore. Next entry will be dedicated to the alien. Doubt i got anyone tearing but that's a good thing cos that way, u won't waste tissue, and when u don't waste tissue, less trees get cut down. Yes, wise words from a green club member. :)

Alien hijacking.

2004-12-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

Peace be upon you.

Yup you guessed it. Alien has hijacked this blog. Teeheehee.

Alien is feeling rather sad. Even tho she and the rhino will be in the same JC, life will be very different without lis miss piggy, claire chan.

Sob. sob.

Alien cannot find the words to express the sorrow she's immersed in. Alien will always remember the times piggy and me "fought" in class, and rhino will start her referree thing. haha. So funny.

And the times where alien would be bullied.

And..

Sigh.

I'll miss you guys. on another note, we'll be having dinner tonite! yay! muacks!

Love,
The Alien.

just me and my baby!!!

2004-12-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

ok for the first time in my life i shall write some thing sweet and nice to my dearest friend claire ( notice i did not say pig,,,, so tats the first step). me and my baby are going diff schools for the first 3 mnths... booo hoooo and i dun tink i can make it there after o's cause i got onli one bonus point and the sci stream there is 9!!!!!! ACJC seems unlikely also though i would love to go!! yup soo anyways its for sure tat me and claire arent going to be tat close anymore..of course we will still keep in contact but u knoe...bleh bleh..diff sch...busy..stuff like tat!!! will not be like this anymore. yah its a passing cloud in life i knoe u ppl will be saying tat but shes my BABY!! i feel soooo sad and i will miss my baby soo much...... ha yah! let me tell u.. she is really the best baby ever!!!!! (with a very flat stomach,,,, cant forget tat) hahaaha.
5 REASONS WHY I LOVE CLAIRE
- i tell her everything ( though she still suspects me of keeping stuff)
- she is a great company
- though we may be insulting each other and getting crazy, we still love each other deep down
-indeed she has a very nice character ( not many ppl see it though cause they dun knoe her tat well)
-SHE IS MY BABY

5 REASONS WHY I DISLIKE CLAIRE
- she can be quite bitchy at times ( not like am no not)
-she loves herself too much and quite shameless
-she does not tok to her parentsvery nicely at times though she loves them
-i cant tink of any
-i cant tink of any
conclusion: more positive points then negative so claire is da greatest.

yup tats it jus wan to tell my baby tat i will also treasure her friendship and love and we will not forget the rocking times we spent together not forgetting the alien too ( alien next entry for u too tired now)... yup baby dun forget me!!!

PS: I AM NOT LESBO AND ALL DA LOVE I MENTION ABOVE IS LOVE AS FREINDS OK!
: ASHRITHAA WAS VERY SERIOUS WHEN I WROTE THIS (no wan takes me seriously so i have to write this or ppl will tink i am playing a fool....)

Oceans twelve..

2004-12-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

the pig and rhino went on a date today.... to watch oceans twelve...
since we had soo much time before the movie me and claire wen to try stuff in zara
wah i saw claires stomach... its like super flat man damnn... and she eats like a pig.. she says her fats go to her thighs..haiz....its really flat ppl!!! hahah yup..so then wen we entered the cinema at great world city claire realise tat the armrest could be lifted up.. cool soo we all cozy and stuff ( lesbians in action) hahha no lah it was kinda weird with no arm rest so we put it back! oceans twelve was super cool and stylo man esp my george clooney (who looked 50 frm the neck above)... but some parts me and claire blur ah.. but still it was duper good!! goo watch it. ( no sex or steamy scenes though)...dissapointed man. only braddy kissing zeta for a short while... and clooney with julia. BIG DEAL! it was entertaining though. and soo the movie ended and george clooney came to pick me up and i asked him to drop claire at hme. ( he did not like claire one bit,,,,,, said her stomach too flat) like wat da hell?? ok so the date with me and clooney is totally private and i cant blog it down or he would kill me for revealing stuff.

stupid rhino

2004-12-14T13:36:00.000+08:00

Bloody rhino lied to me and cheated my feelings. Boo hoo hoo. What an asshole.

Fine, shall not haggle over it anymore. Shall update after chalet, hopefully it's not a waste of my time and i actually get to spot some hunks ( haha! which i can so gleefully spite the rhino) . Tata! :)

BLOODY SUNDAY

2004-12-12T13:23:00.000+08:00

here it comes todays entry is called BLOODY SUNDAY! though it may sound soo familiar to all cause of the historical event but NOOOO nth to do with it... its my version...but entirely true~ i am having my period rite now... soooo i woke up and for the first time in my life i STAINED MY BED MY SHORTS MY PANTIES!! wah damn a lot sial... suddenly so much menses ( tink my hormones rushing ah...too horny after my wet dream) but the worst thing is tat i did not realise tat i stained all over... my bro has this habit every sunday morning to come disturb me and my sister so he jumped on my bed and started to wake me up by talking abt his crappy music!!! then he suddenly screamed......eewww u got mensus everywhere!!!! he was traumitised he went to confront my mother and even told me father!!!! hello ppl??? wats soo exciting abt period man???? jus cause he saw it for the first time in his life he was soo worked up... wait til the guys got blood gushing out of their cock then they knoe how super cool it is.. all they got is sperms!! na ne ne poo poo... but period cramps are the worst. i tink they equally as bad as hitting a guy in his balls or penis! eh now we are equal in status! the pain islike squeezing your intestines...then u fell DRIP DRIP or some times ZOOM! ( jus like how diamond taught us to use the burette) DRIP DRIP dun let it flow!!! since i am feeling it rite now its sooo cool to feel and write at the same time. so bloody sunday is jus an account for my MENSES DAY!! my first day i stained stuff! and this is to let all guys knoe how we feel at the time of the month... dun piss us guys or we will spray our period at your face. not very exciting!!!!

Claire the kuku

2004-12-12T13:01:00.000+08:00

I should not have had a joint account with the pig because she is like soo totallyboring.. i mean if i were some one surfing the net and reading blogs and chance upon this.. i would be like wat the hell??? why is this pig talking abt why she is soo bored and wat movie she watch and talking abt a movie we all watched long ago!!! BORING! so soori ppl tats claire, i cant help it.. worst though her english is like sooo duper good, tat makes the blog even more BORING. its suppose to be free writing ppl!!!! not some prize winning essay we post up!!!!ok this is going to be an insult session so i better stop and get to my topic!! ( sorry claire i cant stop frm saying this... but pls dun bore the readers jus cause u are bored.. nth to write.... DONT WRITE SIMPLE)...follow my policy!!!

-_-

2004-12-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Nibbles, cruch, munch, chomps, *burps.

What the hell am i doing? I'm consuming boredom. Yes, the most common delicacy that fills my stomach and brain these few days. How i wish i could gobble it all and let it out in the form of shit but pity it's not depleting fast enough, and it's an infinite resource. Yes yes, i know i'm full of complaints. But what else am i supposed to do? Was planning on writing a more intellectual and mind boggling entry. But thanks to michelle and xiuli, who refused to pose suggestions on topics to write about, minus the ones on homosexuality which they were so enthusiastic for me to write about ( and which were politely snubbed and ignored), i am totally left with no topic to blog about.

Pathetic. I know i should cease all the complaints, after all, school is going to start in just a mere 3 weeks time and i'm sure i'll start missing these days, when i can sleep late and wake up late and just stare into space without guilt creeping into me or textbooks staring me directly in the eye. Well anyway, sighs. Sigh, sigh and sigh. See, that's what boredom does to you, it causes repitions and may eventually lead in insanity. Urgh! Let me update how i spent my day yesterday then.

Decided to have a post birthday party for xiuli. Tata, michelle and xiuli came over yesterday but only xiuli and mich ended up staying. The alien was too busy screwng M Nasir and meliza was mia. We watched american wedding which was freaking hilarious! hahas! Salutes to the director as well as sean william scott, whose stupidity and egomaniac nature never stopped cracking me up in the show. shall post some notable highlights of the movie which was highly entertaining and amusing. For those who lack the history of american pie, skip the section or you're just wasting your time.

- Stifler who was left with the important task of taking care of the ring let the dogs eat it, as a result he had to scoop the poo with the ring up. Met michelle's parents on the way to get the ring out of the shit and had to lie to them that the shit was actually chocolate truffle. Sadly, michelle's mother was a chocoholic and insisted on taking a bite of the 'chocolate truffle'. Left with no choice, stifler had to stuff the shit into his mouth. HAHA
- the bachelor party which took place in the house, complete with strippers and a gay.
- Stifler screwed jason bigg's grandmother on mistake. Haha, the hilarious part was that the grandmother kept blowing kisses at Stifler after that.
- Jason biggs shaved off his pubic hair, which was damn a lot and threw it out of the window. Oops, bad mistake! Flew on to the wedding guests and the cake which he had to throw away.
- This was one scene which was so funny i have no choice but to type out the conversation.
Finch to stifler: You're a grandmother f*cker
stifer to finsh: You're a mother f*cker
finch: Yeah, but i f*cked your mother!
stifler: *outraged*
-like all the rest of the american pie history, what else to complete the movie but ending with finch screwing stifler's mom once AGAIN?!

Oh wellies, that's enough for today. Till then, I'll continue chewing off boredom! *burps :)

boo!

2004-12-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

Just a few announcements to make. Hoho. *smirks*

Well, zoo day was super duper fun! :) the best part of cos was the polar bears! i am gonna propose to iguano..or watever his name was. Wells, and the 2nd best part was the yummylicious ben and jerry's ice cream! to hell with the cough, the ice cream was worth the sacrifices and pains though i'm coughing like mad now.. *coughs* --> see, to emphasize on my point :)

Okay, next was the fact that ASHRITHAA RAJAH, yes, the rhino, made a complete fool of herself, not once, but TWICE, today. Haha, well, what can we expect from the loser right? Haha..Ok, let me fill u in on how she made a clown of herself without even having to take the effort of looking for a round red circle to put on her snout like nose.

The first event would be the animal show, u know, where the zoo keeper tries her best to keep the crowd involved and entertained by exploiting animals mostly seals, so as to increase the revenue for the zoo at the animals' expense? Yes, that animal show. So the zoo keeper ( one tt looked like ritz) was looking for a volunteer to assist her in amusing the crowd, once again, at the seal's expense, as it had to kiss the cheek of the volunteers. So there she was, shouting out enthusiastically for volunteers to raise their hands, and ashrithaa, being the ever attention seeking her immediately stood up and refused to put her hoof of a hand down. So when the zoo keeper pointed towards her direction and shouted, "Over there! The lady in pink!", Ashrithaa was beaming and in all smiles looking especially smug and bouncing off the steps to proceed to the stage. But alas, before she could reach, she realised that the woman in pink was not her, rather, it was another person. Boo hoo, my condolences. Alien and me burst into laughter IMMEDIATELY and ashrithaa was so humiliated and ashamed ( i swear, tt moment almost got rid of tt thick hide of hers for a while), that she set her butt down and refused to move. Haha, if u ask me, the seal got lucky, saved him the grossness of kissing ashrithaa.

The second incident took place in Ben and Jerry's. Well, the salesgirl was asking for orders and being the ever oh so shameless ashrithaa, the immediate response was no, we ordered already. Well, too bad! That question was not addressed to her! More like to the people behind us! Yet once again humiliated, ashrithaa had no choice but to shut that trap of hers ( to our delight of cos :), world peace! ). Gee, how much more shameless can anyone get?!

Apart from that, everything about the zoo was fantabulously great and we all found mates. Me and the polar bear, rhino and tt lucky seal, and the alien and her "hunk" chris. Whoopie doo. All's well ends well. Hope u peeps enjoyed this crapped up entry. Now now, please don't make fun of ashrithaa, didn't your parents teach you not to be mean to the less fortunate?

With that in mind, tata kids! :)

our love story ( part 1 )

2004-12-08T16:36:00.000+08:00

It was a cold dark night, I was just rolling around in the soft murky water and basking in the chills of the cool breeze caressing my hide when I heard unfamiliar noises sending waves to my ear. I ignored the noises as I presumed they were nothing new, just silly human beings trying to catch a glimpse of the ever-so-cute me. Tsk tsk, when were they ever going to grow up and start looking at more productive things? I mean, come on, they only pay a minimal 12 bucks to view me, when I'm like worth so much more. 12 bucks ought to limit there sights to the Indian Rhino, whose face is an absolute nightmare, the epitome of a horror movie.
Oh wellies, so there I was, just innocent me, minding my own business, when I caught the Indian Rhino in the enclosure opposite me throwing me furtive, murderous glances. I shivered uncomfortably an let out a "birrr" as I struggled to maintain my composure. The people at the Night Safari ought to get me a more advanced enclosure, preferably one with an electric barb, to electrocute any suspicious characters who were trying to murder me. After all, it isn't easy having to deal with the risks of popularity. Back to where I was saying, yes, the Indian Rhino. Oh man, that creature really terrifies the shit out of me (which means 2 days of cleaning up and complaints from the zoo keepers) and I try to keep out of her way most of the time. Little did I know, this horror movie was about to land a role in my life.
I don't really remember how our love story began, all I know was for the first time in my life, the rhino did not just pose as a disgusting pathetic creature, but actually someone who served a deeper purpose in my life (though she was still disgusting and pathetic of cos.). So I guess it all began with the vibes she was sending me. As time passed by, the murderous glances eventually developed into adoring and abasing looks of adoration and I couldn't help but turn pink ( though I already am) and look away in embarrasment. Anyway, it was a matter of time that I began to communicate with the rhino, through "birrrs" and "snoorrtts" and "grunttts", that every other living creature in the Night Safari had a hunch about our blossoming romance.
Once in a while the rhino would express her affections towards me by actually crushing an alien ( one who often lands on the Night Safari), for my entertainment purposes. As I lacked the body mass to do the same, all I could do was giggle in "birrs" and kick some mud onto the rhino's face to express my gratitude.

-- to be continued --

how the rhino met the pig!!

2004-12-08T16:29:00.000+08:00

hi tis is da rhino...... since this is a shared blog i will only have to tok abt the pig and here it goes.... the reason why i made friends with the pig is becasue she sooooo looks like a pig! soft pink skin.... with freckles.....her straight rebonded hair looks like a pigs wiskers....and lastly the most outstanding feature BIG ARS!!!! yup sooo since i was soo lonely at night safari... i visited the pig...however though i was an indian rhino i still do not eat and touch pork!! but its ok nvm so i approached the pig and striked a conversation with her!!! she was soo friendly tat she even offered me some of her mothers brownies ( her mothers fertilisers i mean)!!! they tasted sooooo good... yup but ultimately wat brought us closer was... american idol!!! me being the dark rhino supported ruben for he was the same size and complexion oe me... pig supported clay aikeen or he was ugly gayish and fair jus like her!!1 however the rhino won in the end!! yeah victory!!!!! and tats hoe the love blossomed between 2 very different animals...PIG AND RHINO!!! and till today it stands strong.. so i would jus like so say a BIG i love u to my baby pig for her friendship and love.....bye for now!!! but i will be back for more interesting stuff!
THE RHINO

Please read.

2004-12-07T18:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Pig/Rhino.

Alien here. Please delete this entry and start posting your own entries. okie?

Alien signing out.